How Is Your Soul?

I knew how to care for a project plan, a program, a team, and a family. I did not realize I was slowly losing care for my own soul.

I was running a nonprofit, working full time as a project manager, volunteering with my church, and helping lead a family. I took every role seriously. Very seriously. Miss Overachiever was booked, busy, dependable, and running on fumes.

I was doing meaningful work, but I was miserable. I was depressed, anxious, and stretched so thin that I barely recognized myself. Then I had a panic attack while serving at church. I was in a place associated with worship, service, and purpose, but my body and soul were waving a white flag.

That moment forced me to ask a question I had avoided for a long time: What good is it to care for everything God placed in my hands if I am careless with the life He placed inside me?

So, what is the soul?

We sometimes talk about the soul as if it is a tiny, mysterious part of us floating around somewhere behind our ribs. The Bible gives us a fuller picture. In Scripture, words translated as “soul” can refer to a person’s life, inner being, desires, identity, or whole living self. Genesis 2:7 describes humanity becoming a living being when God breathed life into us.

Your soul is the deepest center of who you are before God. It is where your mind, will, emotions, desires, relationships, body, and spiritual life meet. One helpful way to understand the soul is as the part that holds the whole person together. When the soul is well, the different parts of life can move together under God. When the soul is neglected, we may still function, produce, smile, serve, and answer emails while feeling scattered inside.

Jesus asks, “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Mark 8:36). That is not only a question for people chasing fame or money. It is also a question for those of us who can become so consumed with doing good that we stop paying attention to what all that doing is doing to us.

Soul care is not just self-care

Self-care and soul care are not enemies. Self-care can be wise and necessary. A nap, a massage, a good meal, movement, medication, a quiet afternoon, or a little retail razzle-dazzle may genuinely support your wellbeing.

But self-care often asks, “What would help me feel better right now?” Soul care goes a little deeper and asks, “What is happening within me, and what would help me return to truth, wholeness, and connection with God?”

A bubble bath can relax your body, but it cannot confess the resentment you keep swallowing. A vacation can change your scenery, but it cannot decide the boundary you are afraid to set. Brunch with the girls can bring joy, and praise God for pancakes, but it may not address the grief you keep outrunning.

Sometimes self-care soothes us. Soul care tends us. We need both.

How to care for your soul

1. 1

   Tell the truth about how you are doing.

   Move past “I’m fine.” Ask what you are feeling, avoiding, resenting, grieving, craving, or carrying. God can handle the unedited answer.

2. 2

   Make room to hear your own life.

   Turn down the noise long enough to notice what is happening inside you. Try ten quiet minutes without a phone, podcast, task, or spiritual performance.

3. 3

   Practice being with Jesus.

   Read Scripture slowly. Pray honestly. Sit in silence. Worship. Walk and talk with God. The goal is not to complete a spiritual checklist. The goal is relationship.

4. 4

   Release false responsibility.

   Ask, “What is mine to carry, and what have I picked up because I am capable, afraid, or used to being needed?” Every need is not your assignment.

5. 5

   Pay attention to your body.

   Your body often notices overload before your calendar does. Sleep, breath, tension, appetite, headaches, and exhaustion can offer important information. Listen without shame.

6. 6

   Let safe people help tend you.

   Soul care can include a pastor, spiritual director, counselor, therapist, physician, trusted friend, or wise mentor. Needing support does not mean you have failed at faith.

7. 7

   Make room for delight.

   Joy is not frivolous. Laugh. Doodle. Sit in the sun. Watch something funny. Enjoy your people. Do something that does not have to become productive to be worthwhile.

Books for tending your soul

• Soul Keeping by John Ortberg. A thoughtful invitation to understand and care for the most important part of you.
• Soul Care by Dr. Rob Reimer. Seven transformational principles for spiritual and emotional health.
• Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer. A practical framework for being with Jesus, becoming like Jesus, and doing what Jesus did.

A prayer for the soul

Shepherd of my soul, slow me down enough to notice what is happening within me. Restore the places I have neglected while caring for everyone and everything else. Show me what is mine to carry and give me courage to release what is not. Help me receive wise spiritual, emotional, and medical support without shame. Teach me to be with You, not only work for You. Bring my scattered pieces back under Your loving care. Amen.